Death in the Classroom

It was a regular day at St. Overpriced High School. At 9am, the students of class 3-A shuffled into their class and settled into their desks. They went about their morning activities, enjoying their few minutes of unsupervised freedom. They knew that once Prof. Holme Rume came in, they would have no chance to do incredible things like running around in the class, making out, tossing paper at each other, and other such highly intellectual activities. The students were pleasantly surprised when those few minutes turned into a good twenty minutes and then into a whole hour. However, at 10 am they had to stop their rambunctious ventures. A middle-aged man wearing a red tweed sweater and brown pants entered the class. He introduced himself as Prof. Jay June and informed the class that he was a substitute for Prof. Rume, who had some sort of an emergency. He asked the class to settle, fetch their history books and pay attention.

Jen had been listening to music on her phone, when the substitute professor had walked in. She dutifully kept her phone and earphones inside her bag, and took out her history book. To her, the subject did not really matter. None of them interested her. However, she did not want to get into any more trouble. She already had two strikes on her record. For the first ten minutes, she tried paying attention. After another five minutes, she was back to wondering whether Zayn quitting One Direction was a good decision. She realized it was going to be an ordeal and let out a yawn. Rubbing her eyes, she rested her head on the desk. Just a short nap, she thought to herself.

The ringing bell at noon signaled lunchtime. Prof. June left the classroom. As soon as he was out, the bustle returned. Buddy rushed up to Jen’s desk. He was hungry and he needed lunch money. She was his only friend in school and he knew he could turn only to her. Buddy tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hey! Wake up sleepy head. Time for lunch.”

Jen did not move an inch.

Buddy shook her by the shoulders.

“Wake up, Jen! Class is over.”

She gave no response and remained in her position.

Buddy was worried now. He called out to his classmates and asked them for help. No one could succeed in waking Jen up. The school nurse was informed and Jen was carried to the infirmary. The nurse checked Jen and quickly dialed a number on her phone. An ambulance arrived within ten minutes and the doctor rushed in to the infirmary. He checked Jen’s wrist and used the stethoscope to confirm. Jen was no more.

The doctors could not determine the cause of death of Miss Jen Eric. In their opinion, she was perfectly healthy. The case was labeled: a once-in-a-blue-moon medical anomaly. This label stuck only until the next day. Another such anomaly had occurred in class 3-A of St. Overpriced High School. And then another the very next day. The doctors had no explanation for the three deaths. The mayor decided that an expert needed to be called in. The mayor called in the very best – Detective Solvet Al. As luck would have it, he was only a few hours away from Overpriced Town, and instantaneously accepted the mayor’s request.

Solvet was famed for his hundred percent success rate and was infamous for his unconventional methods. He requested the classes to continue as they were and assured the parents and children that no more deaths would take place on his watch. The next day, Solvet was in class 3-A at 9 am. He asked Prof. June to carry on teaching while he observed the class. The students were scared, but the detective’s presence gave them some confidence. Solvet moved around in the classroom through the day. He peered at students, ran his fingers over the walls, sniffed here and there. The students’ attention was focused on the detective’s antics, rather than the chapter being taught. The day passed and the final bell rang. Everyone looked at each other. No slumped body. Everyone was alive and kicking. Solvet had stayed true to his word. All eyes turned to him. The detective knew the question on everyone’s mind and he had figured the answer to it.

“I have solved it. I know the cause of death. It is not a what, it is a who. It was murder, alright. And I know who the murderer is.”

A wave of murmuring went around the class. The detective raised an accusing finger and began moving it around casually. The finger finally stopped, pointing at one particular person. Prof. Jay June. The detective walked up to the professor.

“Oh yes, sir. I attended your class for one day. And I concur that you are the murderer.”

Professor June appeared shocked.

“Me? I did nothing. I am innocent.”

“Don’t lie to me professor. You killed three kids.”

“I did not kill anyone.”

The detective looked sternly at the professor and announced to everyone present.

 

“You are the murderer Professor Jay June…

You bored them to death!”

 

 

This is my attempt at writing a comedic story that does not really take itself seriously.

If you like the comedy genre, you may want to check out: Brouhaha and Dinner

Do share your thoughts and opinions on my stories, I do love reading them! 🙂

 

(Image courtesy: https://daily.jstor.org/how-blackboards-transformed-american-education/)

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